I Staple Once More.

Wow.

            So I remembered something while surfing the web one fine day. What you ask? Well, I suppose this would normally be the part where I told you what I was I remembered. Well, you’re in luck, because that’s exactly what I’m about to do. I remembered I’d photoshopped a few pictures of an old teacher I had in high school. So I typed in his name, and after some searching, I found my old Blogger page that I had hear. I let out a very girlish and pathetic squeal of delight as I opened the page and saw my forgotten musings within. All of a sudden, the 7 month stint of my documentation of my life was right here in front of me. Summer of ’05, Jesus, I was barely 16 then. It’s hilarious to look back and see myself at that age. Well, I’m 23 now; I’ve got a great job, a deteriorating vehicle, currently, inexplicable abdominal cramps that are really tearing me up. At first I thought,

“Oh, I just must be getting my monthly visitor.”

After some thought and consideration, I realized that I am indeed male, and do not get periods. I also recalled that I’ve never had a period before, so I wondered why I wrote it off as such. A mystery, I suppose. One that will plague historians and archeologists alike for centuries. Or perhaps not. At all.

            Anyway, after rereading all of my old entries, I got over the embarrassment of my just…awful typos that went unedited, I saw the spark I had for life back then. Everything was an adventure, and everything was such an event worth document, and sharing with my closest friends. But, after reading all of those posts, those ridiculous, halfway gibberish, but still entertaining posts, one stuck true to me still. It’s the post I made about the end of summer and the memories of friends. And here it is! I think I’ll run it through trusty old spell-check first…Ahem:

“Well, folks, this is it. Four days till the first days of school, and I feel the summer will never be as good as it's been this year. And it’s ending in four days.
Four days till I have to see this finely trimmed COMB OVER of the biology teacher with the M-16 five days a week (a photoshopped picture was here, but out of respect I’m not posting it). I know it's not loaded and only used as a motivational tool, but it reminds me of how fun it is to be out of school. I guess my only salvation will be the two days where I don't have to go to school, if I don't have homework, that is.

Corn Fest. The last day I have with all of my friends before they have to go back. Then who knows how much I'll see them. Prolly like 5 times a month at best. And the thing that gets me isn't just that I have to go to school, it's that it gets dark out early, it gets colder, and the very quality of life lessens. No more sitting under the shade of a tree. No more playing in the park. No more bike rides. No more staying out 'til midnight. I guess all that's left is thinking back on the time where you’re sitting in a circle with your friends, and somebody says something funny, and everyone starts laughing. While everyone is still laughing, you look up at the stars and think, "I wish this night would never end." But it does end. It already has. And you realize this once you lift your head from your desk and realize you've fallen asleep in English. And as time goes on, when your friends have taken their separate paths in life, and you have to think about work, and how you're going to feed your family, and your wife's birthday coming up, you slowly start losing those memories. Then one day 40 years down the road, you see something that reminds you of your friends. You try to think about all of the good times you had together, but you can't. You've forgotten them. Every memory you have of them is gone. All of them accept one. You'll remember that one for life. You'll fall asleep with a smile on your face that night.

So you see, you should live as much as you can while you're young, and while your friends are still around you.

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes
I take another deep breath
And feel the wind pass through my body
I'm the one in your soul
Reflecting the light
Protect the ones who hold you
Cradling your inner child

It's serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when I thought mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Tragic visions slowly stole my life
Tore away everything
Cheating me out of my time
I'm the one who loves you
No matter wrong or right
And every day I hold you
I hold you with my inner child

It's serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when I thought mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when I thought mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

I need serenity

Godsmack, Serenity.

Farewell, Summer.”

And that’s when it hit me: My God, I don’t see a single person from those days anymore. John’s in California with his Fiancé, I have NO idea what Will’s up to, Al Lives in Michigan, I haven’t talked to Hannah in years, Alexis and I had a falling out over some totally trivial stuff. A long while back. I’m not sure who even lives in this state anymore. God, what happened? The answer to that, Mah frans, is that life happened to us. I was so scared of losing all of these people, losing my memories of them, our inside jokes, the stupid stuff we did, the fun we had, the love we had for each other. We were all almost inseparable for years, and then…Well, I honestly can’t even remember how, why, or when we all parted ways. I wonder of any of them ever stumbled across our old blogs and read them. Or if they ever think about us all? I’d find it hard to believe if they didn’t. I really miss those days, and I definitely miss the people. I’m thinking about trying to reconnect with them. No reason not to, I suppose. At least if for no other reason to say hello, and that I hope their lives are going as awesomely as they deserve them to be. These people were my whole life. But, like I said, life happened to all of us, and there’s nothing wrong with that. People grow apart, they change, they discover who they are, and that’s totally natural and healthy. I’ve got some great friends now, and some friends from the past that have recently come back to light, so I’m a happy guy. I do wish the best for all of my friends, new, old, past, and present. Every single one of you that I’ve spent any real, substantial time with has meant more to me than you all could ever know. And I hope I meant a little to you guys too. Live on, my friends. And I’ll treasure you all forever.

Here's my old blog if anyone cares to read it. Staplerzzle